Saturday, 6 October 2007

Newly discovered...

Without further ado, my discoveries of the week:

  1. When a motorcyclist appears out of the blue to headbutt your windscreen at high velocity, it really is very much like it looks on the advert*;
  2. Even under conditions of shock, my concerns are attuned primarily to ensuring the laws of physics have been maintained rather than ensuring the well-being of my fellow homo sapiens. Rather worryingly, after the collision, my first thoughts were along the lines of "It looks like a motorcyclist has just wrapped himself around my car... and disappeared. How on earth did that happen?" rather than something along the lines of "I wonder whether that chap is badly hurt?";
  3. When a young and spotty estate agent turns up late to a viewing, then leaves me to wander around in the rain whilst he shows the property to the other interested parties (who also showed up half an hour late) and does not see fit to apologise, I become disproportionately incensed by people who can't keep appointments and don't see fit to give you the courtesy of a call to let you know they'll be late;
  4. Estate agents are quite possibly a separate species from the rest of us (but refer to Point 8);
  5. If you put a hundred people and a room and make them dance for two hours, the room becomes very hot and sweaty and rather unpleasant. This is particularly true after 9pm when the doors of the facility have to remain closed to prevent any wayward strains reaching the delicate ears of the local residents;
  6. Some of my colleagues really do care about my well-being;
  7. Cops are really rather good at doing an interesting mix of practicality and understanding - a cop friend making a home visit brought me biscuits, chocolate, and alcohol to cheer me up after writing off my car in afore-mentioned motorcycle incident and, because she'd been warned my house had no heating, also brought two tins of soup in case I needed something hot and warming. Awwwww....;
  8. Used car sales types share only 70% of their DNA with the rest of humanity. The rest of it appears to be common to woodlice, snakes, and other things that shelter under stones;
  9. Power steering and central locking is all rather nice, isn't it?

Next week I hope to discover many less shocking, incensing and expensive things...

*No motorcyclists were seriously harmed in the making of this post

6 comments:

trousers said...

Bloody hell, what a week you've had! First instinct is to ask: "are you alright?"
I hope you are, under the circumstances.

But Why? said...

Me? I'm fine, and much the better for a week off work. I think I would have preferred to have spent it in the South of France instead of Guildford, and doing a spot of hillwalking rather than car and house hunting. But no-one's significantly damaged, the weather's been pretty damned good, and I have lots of lovely flowers, so I'm not complaining!

But (I'll not be attempting a repeat performance...) xx

Pixie said...

Glad to know your feeling better.
you had me worried last week.
Normal geek service should now be returned... YES!
pxx

But Why? said...

Pixie,
I had myself worried, too, but fear not, I shall soon return to my normal self, whinging about commuting and commenting on the incidental, the unimportant and... hello, is that a new picture?? VERY nice...

Normal geek service is very much resumed, by the way. I dropped into the office today to file my expense claim, happened upon one of the directors and almost immediately found myself with the dawning realisation that I did in fact have almost twice as much work to do as I had previously thought. Hey ho, nothing changes...

Looking forward to a holiday, tho. Any suggestions?

DJ Kirkby said...

Blimey what a week! Glad you are okay but there are less outrageous ways to get a week off work you know! Yes power steering and cnetral locking sound wonderful...not that I have experienced them with my own car...someday maybe.

But Why? said...

dj,
I know! It's been my emergency joke for the last week ("The things you have to do around here to get a few days off..."), specially reserved in case anyone tries to be too understanding or nice, when it's a handy way of introducing a change of subject just before I feel the need to blub in a most unprofessional manner.

I am thoroughly excited by power steering and central locking. They are very new and exciting to me. But I do miss my old car, or rather, I miss the memories it evoked. Sadly, it wasn't worth repairing.

xx