Tuesday 24 March 2009

Velcro

I've acquired a corporate laptop from my new customer. I was a little bit concerned that the laptop came with a random piece of velcro stuck to the case, but then worked out what this was for when I examined the antenna for the 3G/GPRS card which came with it and which had an almost corresponding piece of velcro stuck to it.

I say 'almost corresponding' because, in my experience, velcro comes with a hook-like piece (which I shall refer to as 'male') and a furry piece (which I shall refer to as 'female'). Both my laptop and antenna velcro pieces were of the male variety. I wondered whether this would be a problem, but upon experimentation, it transpired that the two male pieces bonded reasonably.

One of my colleagues, who was around whilst I was verbally working through the ramifications of the velcro combination I had received, gleefully remarked that I had been supplied with gay velcro. My thoughts immediately turned to the unfortunate person who had received my gay velcro's lesbian counterparts. There was little chance of them ever getting their two furry velcro pieces to successfully bond. This was rather sad, as it also meant they would be inconvenienced by an unbound antenna.

I wondered how a cock-up such as this could have occurred, and wandered round the office examining unattended laptops and antennae only to discover that all velcro combinations were male-male.

The customer organisation is full of macho types. I find it pleasingly amusing that gay velcro is standard issue...

8 comments:

Kahless said...

It is funny that you checked out the velcro around your dept..

Was it with the view of swiping a female one if you found it?

But Why? said...

Kahless,
Exactly that. It's finders keepers in the rough world of laptop-antenna velcro match-matching. I was indeed hoping to pinch a female match, and perhaps do someoe else with the lesbian velcro a favour by giving them an antenna they could actually attach somewhere, but none were to be found. Still, it all seems to be working, just about.

Random Reflections said...

Gay velcro! Whatever next!

DJ Kirkby said...

You. Are. Hilarious!x

Rob Clack said...

Ha ha! Gay velcro. Very good!

But Why? said...

Random,
I think they might be planning to follow up the standard issue of gay velcro with positive discrimination for metrosexuality...

DJ,
Gee, ta. Gotta laugh at these things otherwise the day at work would be exceedingly dull indeed, punctuated only by the arrival of the sandwich van, the change of security staff, and the intermittent doom of extra work being dropped upon me from a great height.

Rob C,
It is actually rather functional. Surprizingly so. And it make fixing the antenna to the laptop rather titillating...

Reading the Signs said...

Somewhat off topic, but just to say that I love your rowing mantras (only just realised that they keep changing).

I've never quite got my head around velco.

But Why? said...

Signs,
Why, hello! Yes, the rowing mantras do change. Sadly, I'm curently unable to put them to good use on the river and instead developing a thick coat of commuter's lard, just in time for summer. Ah well, it'll give me something to work on (or work off) over the rest of the year.