Velcro

I've acquired a corporate laptop from my new customer. I was a little bit concerned that the laptop came with a random piece of velcro stuck to the case, but then worked out what this was for when I examined the antenna for the 3G/GPRS card which came with it and which had an almost corresponding piece of velcro stuck to it.

I say 'almost corresponding' because, in my experience, velcro comes with a hook-like piece (which I shall refer to as 'male') and a furry piece (which I shall refer to as 'female'). Both my laptop and antenna velcro pieces were of the male variety. I wondered whether this would be a problem, but upon experimentation, it transpired that the two male pieces bonded reasonably.

One of my colleagues, who was around whilst I was verbally working through the ramifications of the velcro combination I had received, gleefully remarked that I had been supplied with gay velcro. My thoughts immediately turned to the unfortunate person who had received my gay velcro's lesbian counterparts. There was little chance of them ever getting their two furry velcro pieces to successfully bond. This was rather sad, as it also meant they would be inconvenienced by an unbound antenna.

I wondered how a cock-up such as this could have occurred, and wandered round the office examining unattended laptops and antennae only to discover that all velcro combinations were male-male.

The customer organisation is full of macho types. I find it pleasingly amusing that gay velcro is standard issue...

White coffee

White coffee. In contrast to black coffee, white coffee is usually a sign that everything's OK. It means one of the following:

• I'm working from home and indulging one of my simple pleasures;
  
• I'm working from Guildford for a bit of respite from customer-facing stresses, enjoying the constant supply of fresh coffee, and have sufficient slack in my day to be able to wander over to the kitchen to pick up a steaming mug of stimulant;
  
• It's the weekend and despite the fact that I should be caning the water and replacing all those fluids I lost rowing, I'm drinking coffee. Because I Can And It's The Weekend. It's a small rebellion against my otherwise healthy-ish lifestyle...

It seems I've been declared fully recovered from illness, or at least fit enough to have work dropped upon me from a great height once more. (It's unfortunately the case that any illness causing absence from paid, client work is seen as an opportunity to pick up whatever overhead has hit the top of the company priority list - this week it appears to be my turn to write an environmental management system. But of course, it's what I've always aspired to doing...) Still, it's never a bad thing to have work to do from one's own home with a bottle of beer on standby.

So, yes, today's white coffee is of the working from home variety. I'm working from home. I'm also falling asleep at random times of the day (and making the most of it as all too soon I will be back with my nose to the customer grindstone). In fact, I hope to put in an appearance with the customer just as soon as I can contemplate wearing a suit instead of a sleeping bag. Come to think of it, I wonder what my chances are of creating a new wave of sleeping-bag-inspired office fashion?