Sunday, 23 March 2008

Confused of Why?

It is Easter in the House of Why?. Bearing in mind we have no practicing Christians in the immediate family, The Why? Family Easter takes the form of a good excuse to get together, eat nice chocolate, and have another Christmas dinner.

(We have an excellent understanding of religious festivals here. It just about trumps that of my (Jewish) aunt who used to work in a (completely un-Kosher) bacon factory, and who sends me an annual (non-ironic) Easter card...)

There are just two Why?s at the family home this Easter, myself and my mother (Dr Why? the Elder). Mr Why? Senior is recuperating in hospital from his latest foray into extreme orthopedic remodelling, and Mr Why? Junior is heading back from Take Two of his belated honeymoon. This had led to some scurrilous talk that the traditional 16 pound turkey would be replaced by something more befitting the size of the dinner party. Thankfully, sanity broke out and the turkey my mother and I will later sit down to is a compromise, sized to satisfy 8-10 people, or alternatively, one rower and her turkey-loving mother.

With snow settled on the ground outside, the scent of cooking turkey and last night's log fire lingering festively in the air, and red wine and crisps/nuts/chocolates being the current consumables of choice, it feels remarkably like the Christmas and New Year break. Couple that with the fact I'm on holiday next week (I'd taken the week off to be around when Mr Why? Senior was recuperating), and all the circumstances are conspiring to make me expect a review of the year to crop up on a 24 hr news channel at any moment, and Santa to drop down the chimney to dispense a sackful of chocolate eggs. Unfortunately his reindeer can't make it as they've been pressed into service on Blackpool beach after the donkeys exercised their rights under the Blackpool donkey labour laws and refused to work in the snow.

It appears the festive confusion has spread further. In other news, shortly after he was spotted leading a sleigh loaded with chocolate eggs and an obese Coca-cola employee across the night skies of the world, the Easter Bunny has reputedly been seen checking the terms of his contract and buying a donkey costume from a Lancashire fancy dress shop.

17 comments:

Andrew F said...

Well, have a nice calendarily confused week!

But Why? said...

Thanks. I shall. I shall also get slowly schloshed during the evenings, just because I can and have no pressing need of sobriety, nor any need to know what day of the week it is.

Simple pleasures...

trousers said...

Yes, and it reminds me of when we had some really heavy rain during the winter (or when winter is supposed to be, anyway), and it immediately reminded me of last summer. Hope you've enjoyed your Easter, and getting sozzled and not needing to know what day it is sounds like an ideal state of affairs too :)

Casdok said...

Much festive confusion!
Hope Mr Why? Senior recuperats well!

But Why? said...

Trousers,
Last summer was a wash-out, wasn't it? Just as well that last April was ridiculously warm and sunny. I guess it's no wonder I'm confused...

Casdok,
Aye, and thanks for the good wishes. The hipless wonder seems pretty chipper after his op so we're hoping he'll be back at Why? Central in the next few days.

Pixie said...

And I thought I got confused when I went walking with eldest on Monday!
pxx

But Why? said...

Pixie,
I feel for all those kids who would have got cold fingers doing their annual Easter Egg hunt in the snow...

Reading the Signs said...

It is a rum business, Dr. Why, and no mistake - but two doctors in the house should be enough to make sense of it all. Here at Signs Cottage we just gave in and wished each other merrry christmas and the snow whirled around the house, as it never does in december, though we always expect it too. I am thinking that the fact of your having another christmas dinner might have been provocative, though; that the weather saints, or Whoever is responsible, might have sent the snow in response to that - just to make a point. It's a thought, Doctor. In other words, you may have been responsible for it all - the weather, I mean.

But Why? said...

Signs,
Sense? I'm not convinced there is any to be had. It is a senseless and confusing world. I am however extremely pleased to hear you had a Merry Christmas over at Signs Cottage - perhaps come Halloween you'll be found sharing chocolate eggs over a bunch of daffodils?

As for the weather, I'm afraid it's not my call - I tested this by demanding sun during a walk this afternoon, and didn't get it. Personally, I think it's the igloo-dweller overseas who's been sending us her excess snows...

KindaBlue said...

The same igloo-dweller overseas who sent me a sudden, unexpected, totally unwarranted ice storm on Saturday - whilst I just happened to be out on the deck of the Mersey ferry?

If I ever meet her, I shall introduce her igloo to the joys of a primus stove...

Kahless said...

Chocolate, how yummy.

Hope Mr Why? Senior's recouperation is on track.

But Why? said...

Kindablue,
I can understand your bitterness towards the weather, but that really is no excuse to make igloo-dwellers homeless. I mean, how would you like it if someone came across an ugly town and consequently blaming Basingstoke for spreading ugliness to the world, decided to raze it (B'stoke) to the ground??

Kahless,
Yes. Yum. Burp. And I still have some easter egg left (I have no idea how I managed that...)

Thanks for the wishes for Mr Why? Senior - he seems in remarkably good form given the number of cock-ups in his care over the last couple of weeks(!)

tpe said...

That'll be the NUD (National Union of Donkeys), But Why. Those guys came through Thatcherism unscathed and are still to be found handing out their shockingly militant newspaper at most Labour Party conferences. A terrible business.

Hello again. I think you have it just about right, really. I'm not sure that one needs a religious bone in the body in order to celebrate, acknowledge, or participate in these things.

And re Basingstoke: well, I can't speak for Kindablue, unfortunately, but I would be more than happy to see just such an approach taken to ugly towns and places. It's high time someone did something positive about ugly stuff.

Obviously, there will be some disputes as to what ought to be classed as ugly. That's where I come in: I'm happy to judge these matters impartially and without charging a fee. Then it's just a question of finding a box of matches. You know it makes sense.

A belated Happy Easter to you, But Why. Or an early Happy Christmas. Wait - or maybe even a super early Happy Easter? Happy Sunday, anyway. I don't think it matters much, really.

TPE

KindaBlue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
titration said...

Quite funny! :) You are a most creative blogger.

But Why? said...

Titration,
Hey, thanks! I'll be popping round to yours in a mo...

But Why? said...

TPE,
I must most sincerely apologise for having completely missed replyin to your comment. How amazingly rude of me. How unlike me(!)

Yes, those donkeys are trouble. With their red flags and famed dependability, they are an alarming and almost unstoppable force when marching on Westminster.

As for Basingstoke, well, I have been there, and I have survived. I'm not convinced eradicating Basingstoke would be of any benefit. And I'm of the live and let live persuasion, personaly, despite (or perhaps because of) my lack of religious belief.

An (almost?) unforgiveably belated Happy Easter to you (you could charitably consider this to be unseasonally early Christmas wishes, if you so desired...)