Thursday, 10 January 2008

Signs

There is a rather good canteen at work. It produces standard canteen fayre and distributes it using standard canteen processes (users collect a tray from the piles outside the canteen, assess what they would like to buy, put their tray on a rail, put a plate on their tray, and put the desired items onto a plate. They then pick up the tray/plate/food ensemble, walk to the tills and pay. Finally, they collect any necessary cutlery and condiments, take a seat and consume their purchases.)

Hitherto, it had not been felt necessary to provide diners with instructions for this part of the dining process. Waste separation and recycling are infinitely more complicated processes and handy idiots' guides have been provided in the vicinity of these facilities for some time, but the food purchasing system was assessed to be sufficiently simple to not warrant the attention of the perhaps slightly overly cautious people in the Health and Safety department.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, I present you with the latest and greatest contribution to Health and Safety in the workplace.



Look closer...




I found this on Monday. Those are not cheap signs. They are heavy duty things with what I can only presume is a bit of custom printing on the front (I sincerely hope these are not stock items...) I am reluctant to comment on what this suggests for the assumed levels of intelligence of canteen users. I am quite, quite speechless.

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Post script 18/1/2008: In an apparent u-turn, the signs have been removed. No doubt scenes of food-spillage chaos will await me on Monday.

16 comments:

Casdok said...

Thanks for the photos as you have to see it to believe it!!!

But Why? said...

Casdok,
It beggars belief, doesn't it? Still, it gives me a chuckle when I go for lunch... xx

trousers said...

I just saw that and exclaimed out loud: "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I could rant about this, as I'm sure we all could (warning: might cause raised blood pressure and reddening of the face), however I'll instead furnish you with an anecdote:

Travelling up the M1 in the early hours after a fantastic gig in London, my friend and I pulled into a service station for a bite to eat and a cup of coffee. My friend gave a scornful reaction when he saw on the cup the words "caution: contents are hot" or something to that effect.

"Of course it's hot, it's a cup of coffee FFS, who is going to be so stupid as to..." and so on and so forth. He carried on like this for a short while and then paused to take a sip.

"OUCH" was the next thing I heard as he somehow managed to spill some of those hot contents onto his hand, and when we realised what he had just done, we both spent several minutes doubled up and laughing our way to stomach cramps.

Andrew F said...

Are you sure they're a health and safety thing? I'm wondering if it's just that a kitchen janitor complained once too often about clearing up a mess on the floor.

Irrespective, there's clearly a taxpayer-funded jobsworth involved here.

Pixie said...

don't know which made me laugh more your post or trousers comment.

wonderful daft stuff, cheered me up.
hugs
pxx

But Why? said...

Trousers,
My turn for the "NO!!!!!!!!!!!" moment - good story. And please thank your friend for his self-sacrifice - made me laugh

Andrew F,
I do reckon it's Health and Safety - if spillages didn't cause a H&S hazard, they wouldn't be mopped up...

Pixie,
Glad to have raised a smile. Have another hug for today xx

Random Reflections said...

I work with someone who is currently suing the organisation because she spilt a hot drink on herself. She was carrying a tray of tea and she had to put in a code to open a door and the tray slipped and burned her.

Of course it was entirely the organisations fault - because she couldn't have put the tray down or asked a colleague to help her. *shakes head in despair*

I guess it was the organisations fault in that it was stupid enough to employ her...

But Why? said...

Ms/Miss/Mrs/Dr/Fr/The Rt Hon./etc. R. Reflections,

Welcome to my humble abode. But please, before you proceed any further, I ask that you read the induction pack, attend the Health and Safety briefing and sign the declaration to that effect, attend the fire prevention, fire fighting and fire awareness courses, and pass a manual handling test. Even if you are not expecting to do any lifting, this course is a pre-requisite for all who attend the fire fighting course - those cylinders are heavy and can be dangerous if lifted incorrectly. It is of course far more important that you are kept free from possible back injuries and burn to death rather than suffer minor twinges to your back through saving yourself and others from any approaching inferno.

The person in your organisation to whom you refer sounds like a prize turnip. I do realise that is an unbelievably harsh thing to say about someone I have never met, but I am certain that in this situation, it is warrented. I would also guess that a "no win, no fee" agency is involved somewhere in the process, but that's a rant for another day...

Rob Clack said...

Oh, so that's what I'm doing wrong! I wondered why my tray was always empty when I got to the table...

But Why? said...

Rob C,
I am very glad to have been of assistance in discovering the cause of your mysterious weight loss!

Random Reflections said...

How did you know that I have all those titles - have you been stalking me??

Your assessment of my colleague is accurate (if not rather a polite assessment compared to what others have said about her).

Incidentally, I laugh in the face of health and safety. But always wear a seat belt (when in a car) and always standing behind the yellow line when waiting for a tube train. But, apart from that, I'm a real daredevil *tries to look convincing*.

*Thinks* I bet if I dropped a fire extinguisher on my foot I could sue. Thanks for the suggestion.

But Why? said...

Ms/Miss/Mrs/Dr/Fr/The Rt Hon./etc. R. Reflections,
It was just a guess, and actually, would you mind awfully if I drop them in future as it's rather a lot of effort to type...

If my description of your colleague is polite, I shudder to think what others have called her. (A swede, perhaps?)

As for the plan to sue your employer - provided they're not a public sector organisation and I can opt out of consuming (however remotely) whatever it is that your organisation does, you have my blessing. Remember to destroy any evidence of manual handling training first...

DJ Kirkby said...

Lol, reminds me of the serving suggestions on packages of food...whoever would of thought that a bit of parsley would go well with fish?

But Why? said...

DJ,
It's a sad state of affairs, isn't it?

Reading the Signs said...

Just for the record, I think these are superb. You sure they weren't filched from an exhibition at Tate Britain or something? If not, then it's you that are superb for bringing them to our attention :)

But Why? said...

Signs,
Oh, no, no, no. Definitely not filched from an exhibition. No. They came with the customer's branding in the corner - sadly, it really does appear that these were custom-made to educate their workforce in how to hold a tray. It saddens me greatly that such things are appatently necessary.